ACTION!!

Some of the most basic tools for good writing are the ones we take for granted. Breaking it down to the essentials, we come down to words, like nouns and verbs. One names a person, place or thing. The other describes an action. What is the person, place or thing actually doing?

In order to make sentences interesting then, a lot hangs on what names or nouns we choose, but even more depends on how we show their action. Consider the power of a simple, active past tense verb: “We had been swimming” isn’t nearly as strong as “We swam.” Every qualifier we put into a sentence removes it once more from the 'now' world of the reader. Sometimes the hads, weres, and would bees are necessary, but I try to avoid them whenever possible.

Descriptive verbs also lessen the need for adverbs: “He walked away angrily.” “He stormed off.” Which of these gives a more vivid picture of the action and the person? Natalie Goldberg, in Writing Down the Bones ( a book I highly recommend) includes a very effective yet short chapter on verb use. She immediately moves into an exercise rather than spending a lot of time describing what she means. I paraphrase her exercise here:

Fold a sheet of paper in half. On the left side of the page list ten nouns, any ten. Most of these nouns I observed from the center of my bed:

woodpecker
maple
dachshund
post oak
bedspread
pen
paper
pasture
barbed wire
window

Then Natalie directs us to turn the paper over and think of an occupation; for example, lawyer, pilot, baker, coach, etc. Anthing that interests you. I chose rancher because in my heart of hearts, I always wanted to be a cowboy. “Rancher” seemed a little more distinguished (and possible) for a 51-year-old. Then make a list of 15 verbs that go with that job. Here are mine for rancher:

lasso
mend
graze
range
ride
rope
buck
bridle
hitch
gallop
herd
hogtie
brand
hammer
pasture

Now open the page and you have the nouns and the verbs alongside each other. Hook them up in sentences and see what emerges on the page. Try some nonsense attachments as well as ones you may actually use. Keep rearranging and playing with this exercise until you experience the power of action words for yourself. Try writing a poem or paragraph using at least some of your sentences. Here is the simple extended metaphor I wrote after “hitching” up my nouns and verbs:

At the Longview Writer’s Ranch

Today they roll from their bunk unexpectedly
wakened by a woodpecker thumping a thorny old Maple
who bucks her rider in a winter wind.
She is a poet and wiener dog whisperer,
sings nonsense songs to her dachshund
to make him love her...
and maybe mind, this time.
She was dreaming of lassoing metaphors and hitching them to phrases
without their bridling, without her having to hogtie herself to a table first.
He was dreaming of rolling in cow patties and squeaky orange men
falling like ripe fruit from the post oaks and pines.
She writes, bedspread branded across one cheek,
herds words onto a page then mends sentences.
The hammering of the sapsucker gallops through her study window.
Cowbirds graze next door then decorate the barbed wire, wings folded.
She grips a pen, presses it to paper,
promises cornfeed and a warm barn
later--as long as she begins.
But still her mind wanders, ranges
far and wide across fenceless fields and pastures
astride the golden pony of her dreams.

MGK Jan. 2006

Do this exercise regularly and see how many interesting combinations you can come up with. The possibilities are endless. And buy Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg--she’s one of the best!