Leading Women

I suppose my title could be "miss leading" or "misleading" depending on how you interpret it. I'm willing to bet that a lot of readers' first image was one of an actress, star of stage or screen, because these are venues where we've learned to associate the female sex as "leading women." Hollywood couldn't be farther from my mind today.

I rarely use this blog as a forum for women's rights or for any other kind of outright political activism. However, the issue at stake here is a women's issue and one that potentially affects us all. I am talking about leading women; that is, women who choose to lead. Women who dare to stand against a veritable tide of criticism, negativity, and derision. Women who refuse to be seated, driven out or defeated. Women who will attempt again and again to stand before their boardrooms, their classrooms, their communities and their nations and say, "I believe in my intelligence, in my intuition, in my ideas. I believe I can help change this situation for the better and I am willing to take the inherent risks to carry my ideals forward."

I'm not just talking about the presidential candidate. I'm talking about women everywhere. And I'm not just talking about the men who would rather not see a woman in power, for there are plenty of them; those hypocrites who elect a man because he bowed his head for a picture on Time magazine or managed to squeeze out a tear for one dead soldier while killing thousands of others. These are the very same voters calling Hillary a crybaby for showing emotion in public. That's hard to take, all right, and it's hard to imagine having to deal with that same kind of bullshit for 4-8 years, but I am willing to stand in defense of "Madame President." What is harder, really so much harder, is having to defend her from the onslaught of vindictiveness we hear from our own--the multitudes of women standing by to join in the name-calling. Already I've heard Hillary Clinton called a power-monger, over-aggressive, too assertive, pretentious, self-righteous. And these are just the names I'm willing to print here. I asked several women my mother's age why they wouldn't vote for Hillary, and their answer was, "I just don't like her."

Women, we have a problem. For I find this phenomena of putting a woman in a position to lead and then playing firing squad against her when she does, applies in more than just the case of a major election. We do this sort of thing all the time. We ask someone to speak for our community, to host an educational event, to lead a discussion on the library system. We elect women to smaller public positions and they just "never seem to live up to our expectations." Men often don't have to say a word. Women are more than happy to do the dirty work, especially if it will win them the approval of others; men, women or both. Are we really that insecure? Heaven forbid if a woman has any kind of past at all. We like our "leading ladies" to have sprung fully formed from their father's brains. Can you imagine Hillary Clinton with a DUI or a record of snorting cocaine? Puh...leeze!

Maybe it's true we don't want all that power concentrated in the hands of a single woman. Need I point out that we've been content to allow men that kind of power for years and years? A truly good leader, male or female, delegates power. A true leader doesn't want to be crippled by too many responsibilities, but knows her expertise and where to concentrate her strengths. A good leader knows that "It takes a village" to run a village. What a leader has done is to show she is willing to make the necessary sacrifices in order to lead. I don't think the respect and support of her women's community should have to be one of those sacrifices.

To put our faith in a leading woman doesn't mean giving up our own personal power. Instead, allowing a woman to lead us should increase and bolster our power, both individually and collectively as the leader accomplishes the task of empowering her community. Let us ask ourselves, what are we really afraid of here? Has that old message that a woman's hormones and emotions will make her incompetent really sunk into our subconscious? Will she somehow make us seem less feminine? Will she set a new high standard for being beautiful or butch in such a way that we won't be able to compare? Do we prefer male domination as opposed to the threat of a woman who would have the chutzpa to lead us? And if we think we can do better and if we want to do the leading, why don't we? Maybe we can't handle a standard of comparison clothed in our own sex that points up all that we could be doing and aren't.

When I was a little girl, I was led to believe that I could do anything, be anything I wanted. Then it seemed that the world set out to prove that statement was a lie. And the ones who worked the hardest at belittling or offsetting the "masculine" things I wanted to do or be were the very ones who would have benefitted most from my accomplishments--other women. Men barely pay any attention to a woman until she has achieved a certain stature--in business, politics or money. Up until that point, they know they can leave their henchmen, other women, to do the work for them. We are way too comfortable putting powerful, self-empowered women "in their places" and undermining their confidence long before they reach the first public platform.

When we, as women, learn to support our own, believe in our own, nurture our own... When finally we quit practicing the envy and jealousy which is so often our downfall... When finally we refuse to resist our own success, then and only then will a woman lead the way.